The Start of Something
by RainbowgasmWriter
Summary: Shiki and Takuma love each other, but have never told the other. Now Shiki is having some issues and has tried to end his own life. Can Takuma work up the courage to tell him how he feels before it's too late? Ichijo x Shiki
1. To Almost Lose Him

It was in the early hours of the human morning as Takuma Ichijo sifted through racks of designer shirts; more to pass the time then actually look for something. He was waiting for his friend and roommate Senri Shiki to exit one of the dressing rooms to undergo scrutiny from the designers; they wanted the model to represent them and they wanted to know if he looked good in their clothes.

As he thought that, he scoffed lightly, 'Of course Senri will look good in them... He'll look perfect... He always does...' playing with the cuff of a hunter green fitted dress shirt that had the other sleeve completely torn off, a bit of a pout on his perfect lips. 'He sure is taking a long time though...'

At that moment the door to the dressing room opened and he turned around, the sight before him nearly making his jaw drop, Senri looked HOT; he couldn't stop himself from staring, or let a light blush spread to his cheeks.

Senri was wearing SKIN tight dark wash- nearly black jeans, with a little rip in the left knee, a white tank top fitted just as tight that showed at the collar and just below a short black v-neck vest that pulled everything tighter with a corset-style lace back, and a collar like their school vests; but it all still revealed his sharp yet somehow smooth collarbones. He 'topped' it off with a pair of dark blue and black Vans, a pair of black fingerless motorcycle gloves and a slight blush of his own.

"Something wrong?"

Takuma snapped out of it after a second, stuttering a little "N-no! Of course not!" he smiled charmingly, "You look amazing! You've got this contract for sure!"

A small smile graced the redhead's normally emotionless face, 'Leave it to Takuma to chase all the butterflies away with one smile...' he glanced at his charming and handsome roommate, 'and replace them with a whole different kind of flutter...' he was really blushing now.

The smile continued, "Should we go show those guys just how perfect you are for this?"

Senri nodded, straightening up and putting on his smouldering, sexy model look, walking towards the front of the store with the typical model strut, immediately looking 6 inches taller.

Takuma had to stand back, biting his lip. 'God if he keeps looking like that I won't be able to keep how I really feel hidden...' he waited a moment before fallowing and standing with the designers as Senri strut his stuff on the mock runway.

The designers were talking quietly amongst themselves, thinking the young men with them couldn't hear them, but with his enhanced vampire senses, Takuma herd every word; and he couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"He's a little too thin." "He's too pale." "We need someone with more ass." "He's too short." "Not enough muscle on him." "Not enough pout." "Not enough sass."

It took every ounce of Takuma's self control to not start screaming, 'How DARE they say that! None of that is true! Senri is perfect!'

Senri knew something was wrong the instant he saw that look on Takuma's face, the beautiful blond looked like he was either going to kill someone or break down crying. Immediately his face dropped and he stopped his act. "You don't like me do you?"

The designer turned his head back to Senri, "We have come to the conclusion that you are not right for our lines... any of them... you're just too... wimpy looking..."

Takuma had never been so mad in all his life, "He is NOT!"

"It's alright Ichijo-san, that's the business for you..." he shrugged with a brave face before turning back to change again.

The blond noble shot the designer a rather unpleasant look, before following his friend back to the dressing rooms; only to find he's already shut and locked the door; so he let him get changed.

Senri emerged moments later in his casual jeans and baby blue polo, matching Takuma's midnight blue one. "Let's get out of here..." he walked straight past Takuma and out of the store at an unusually quick pace, hands buried in his pockets.

Takuma knew he should say something but he didn't know what, so he just followed Senri to their limo, sliding in the back seat after him.

The ride back the dorm was completely silent, Senri just stared out the window, and Takuma just stared at Senri. The walk back to their room wasn't much more exciting; Takuma stayed behind Senri the whole walk there, starting to feel a little guilty.

"Y-you're not mad at me are you Senri?" he said as he shut the door to their room, voice small and feeble.

The redhead looked up to him, "No, why would I be?"

Takuma looked down at the ground, "Because I told you that you would get that contract... and then..." he was trying to fight back tears, 'Oh god, what if he hates me now? I-I don't think I could handle that!'

Senri was silent a moment before he finally replied, "I'm not mad at you Taku, I'm just..." he sighed.

The blond let out a breath he didn't realise he was holding, "I really didn't think they would..." he started sniffling, "I thought you looked perfect, you DID look perfect... those idiots were just... BLIND or something..."

Senri sighed again, "It's alright Takuma... You don't have to lie to me to make me feel better; it's just the business... If you don't look good you don't get jobs..."

"Senri!" this was the second time today that Takuma couldn't believe his ears, "I'm not lying! You looked AMAZING! You ALWAYS do!"

"Then why the FUCK haven't I gotten ANY jobs these last few months?" the redhead snapped, raising his voice.

Takuma was shocked, and he stepped back a little. 'Senri NEVER yells... ever...' he tried to think of something to say but the sound of Senri yelling at him hit him hard and he could only stutter, "I-I..."

Senri took it the wrong way, "See? It IS because I'm not good enough! Ever since my stupid father took over my body for that short while, NO ONE has even LOOKED at me! I'm not attractive anymore, I'm completely WORTHLESS!" he stormed into the bathroom, locking the door.

The blond just stood there, staring at the door, his breathing uneven. 'How could he SAY that? He's not worthless! Not to me! And he's not just attractive, he's GORGOUS! More than anyone!' he started to pace after a few moments, trying to figure out how to convince Senri that it was just the designers being blind, it had been several moments before he smelt it. Senri's blood. His heart stopped, "... no!"

He raced to the door, pounding on it. "Senri? Senri?" when he got no response he started tugging on the door handle hoping he could pull it off, all the while the smell of blood was getting stronger. 'Oh god what happened? Did he fall? I didn't hear it though... I didn't hear anything break... so what that hell happened?' he was nearly in a panic and it was clouding his judgement, he never even thought to use his powers.

By the time he got the door open the smell of blood had wafted to the entire dorm, but he couldn't hear the other students getting restless; he was much too focused on Senri to care. As soon as the door was open he felt his heart stop and drop to the floor before jumping up to pound in his ears. He couldn't breathe or think for a second.

Kneeling on the floor of the shower was Senri, he was clawing at himself, long gashes down his arms, chest and legs. By now his movements were slow, having lost a LOT of blood, the fact that the smell was so strong even when the water from the shower was so quickly washing it away a testament to just HOW much.

"Senri you IDIOT!" his voice came out in a rush and he ran just as quickly to his side, pulling his hands away. "Are you TRYING to kill yourself?"

Senri just stared blankly at him.

Takuma started to shake at that, "You were... You..." he looked down, "W-why?"

Senri shrugged, "I'm not worth anything to anyone so why be a burden?"

"...Burden?" Takuma shook his head, ignoring the fact that he too was now getting soaked, "You're not... never..." 'And you mean everything to me... that's not worthless is it?'

The redhead went to refute back but he'd lost too much blood so he swayed, leaning heavily on Takuma's hands on his shoulders.

The blond suddenly pulled Senri to his neck, "Drink Senri..."

"..but..." 'Stop acting like you care, like I MEAN something to you! It hurts!'

"But nothing! You'll die if you don't... and I..." 'I can't live without you...' "I won't let you die Senri..." he pushed him closer to his neck.

Senri was far too weak now to fight, he'd just have to wait until Takuma was away to end his own miserable life he guessed. So he sank his fangs into Takuma's soft skin, holding back the pleasured sigh that rose from his chest as he tasted both that skin and the blond's hot, rich blood. 'I shouldn't feel like this, I know he hates this; it's hurting him... and I don't want it... I want to die... but he's so warm and he tastes SOO good... I can't stop myself... I almost feel like I AM worth something when he's holding me like this... Even if it's just an illusion...'

Takuma was crying, but not because it hurt to have his blood taken- the contrary was true in fact- he was crying because he'd been blind to Senri's torture, his self-loathing and sense of self-worthlessness. And he'd almost lost Senri because of it. He needed Senri, needed him more than he ever needed anyone or anything, and he'd almost lost him a moment ago. 'What if he tries it again someday?' he pulled Senri closer, hand tightening in his red hair. 'No! I won't let that happen! I won't! I won't lose him!' The thought alone sent a dagger of intense pain through his very soul, "Senri..." he let out a pained whisper, not realising it.

The redhead mistook it for physical pain in his voice and though he hadn't taken nearly enough blood yet, he pulled away; licking at the wounds he made, whispering apologies to his friend. "I'm sorry, you see? I AM a burden..."

Takuma was so busy hiding the shivers and biting back the soft moans that Senri's tongue on his skin were bringing very close to the surface, that he almost didn't hear Senri's depreciating words... again... 'I'm such an IDIOT!' "No no, it's alright Senri... It wasn't hurting!" he reassured him.

"Then why were you biting your lip? And that whisper... you sounded like you were in pain!"

The blond blushed heavily, 'Oh god if I told him his bite was... turning me on... he'll...' he looked at his friend, who looked very much concerned for him, and sighed. 'Why must I love him the way I do? I want to tell him but... I couldn't stand it if he rejected me and we lost what we have now... I can't... I can't say a word...' "I-it was nothing, I was just upset that you would try to hurt yourself like that..." – it was partially true.

Senri's eyes dropped, "Oh, I see... but..." he looked up again, "You... care that much?" 'Please say yes!'

"Of course I do! You're my friend!" 'And that's just the beginning!'

Senri nodded, "Yeah... friend..." he sounded... blank...

"Senri?" fear shot through Takuma's heart, 'does he not think we're even friends? B-but!'

The redhead caught his mistake right away, "No! I didn't mean we aren't friends Takuma... I just..." he froze. 'I just want to be so much more than a friend to you. I want you to love me... but I know you never could... It's impossible...' he smiled bitterly, 'Another reason I don't want to keep living... I could never stand to see you with someone else... as selfish as that is...'

'You just?' his heart jumped. Takuma shook his head to clear it, 'Don't you DARE get your hopes up Takuma, you KNOW he could never love you, EVER!' he pulled on a smile, and turned off the water. "Well, let's get dried off before either of us catches a cold..." he stood and offered a hand to his unrequited love and pulled him to his feet when he took it.

Senri was still a little dizzy from blood loss, having not taken enough of Takuma's and he immediately stumbled, falling against Takuma's chest. "Uh... sorry..." he went to push off but found he was trapped by Takuma's arms again. "T-takuma?" he was blushing again.

The blond pulled him closer, his voice was low and pained again. "Don't ever pull a stunt like this again alright?" 'You have no idea how much you mean to me... If I lose you, I'll go completely insane...'

When Senri caught the pain in his voice, he was confused. 'Does he WANT me to suffer? Living with this love in my heart for someone I can never have?' "Why do you want me live so bad Takuma? I'm unhappy... do you WANT me to be unhappy?"

Takuma felt another dagger of pain, "Of course not!" 'If you only knew how badly I want to be the one to make you happy! But I know I'm not!'

Senri scoffed a little. "I don't understand you Takuma... Do you even know how miserable you make me?"

Takuma's face went pale, and he let go of Senri; walking to sit on his bed. 'I make him miserable? Am I the reason for his pain? Am I THAT annoying?' he couldn't stop the heart-wrenching sob that broke loose from him.

Senri followed him slowly and unsteadily, wondering why he was sobbing.

"Why?" his voice was determined through his tears, "What is it about me that makes you miserable? I swear whatever it is, I'll change it!" 'I'll do anything for you!'

"The problem isn't you..." 'It's the fact that I'M in love with you at all, when I know you won't ever love me...'

"Then what IS it Senri?" his voice was desperate, "How do I make you miserable if the problem isn't me?"

Senri opened his mouth to respond but was cut short by another wave of dizziness, collapsing to the floor.

"Senri!" Takuma instantly shot up and to his side, pulling him up to sit on the bed, "You should lie down."

Senri nodded, "Can you grab me some boxers?" he started to wiggle out of his wet ones.

Takuma yelped, "Senri! Don't strip in front of me!" 'I won't be able to keep my hands off you if you do...' he tossed a pair of boxers at him, turning around.

The redhead sighed, 'So he really doesn't want to see me naked...' he sighed again, 'So I guess that leaves even the option of friends with benefits out...' that depressed him all over again, sitting there in his fresh boxers; he flopped down, hugging his pillow.

Takuma turned back around at that, standing to pull the covers gently over Senri. "Get some sleep okay?"

He nodded, closing his eyes tight; more to hide his tears then actually sleep. He surprised himself by grabbing Takuma's arm when he went to get up. "Stay 'til I fall asleep?" 'Or forever...'

Takuma's face softened, "Of course." He sat on the edge of the bed, softly stroking the red hair. 'You have no idea how badly I want to just lay down beside you and hold you close to me... I want it so badly it hurts...'

Senri immediately felt soothed at the hand stroking his hair, 'His hand is so warm, if only he would love me...'

After several moments, he fell asleep; leaving Takuma to his imagination and fears. 'I really DID almost lose him today...' It also left him to be able to show his tears as he started to sob softly, resting his head on the headboard. 'I'm scared, so terrified that I'll lose him if I tell him how I feel but... It hurts so much to have him by my side and not be able to touch him or kiss him like I want to...' he sat sobbing until he heard a soft knock on the door.

He knew right away that it was Kaname, and silently thanked him for not barging in despite his pureblood right to do so. He quickly wiped at his eyes before opening the door, trying to smile at the same time as awkwardly trying to hide the bite marks on his neck.

"Hey! Kaname! What's up?"

Kaname stared at him a moment before speaking, "He bit you again did he?" he looked pointedly at Takuma's hand on his neck.

Takuma bit his lip, "H-he need it Kaname... You know I'm the first one to support the use of tablets, but even you know that while they appease hunger they have no healing attributes and they don't replace real blood in a mass blood loss situation..." he trailed off, wincing. 'I said too much...'

"Why did I smell his blood first Ichijo?" the pureblood did NOT look impressed. "Did you bite him first?"

"No!" 'How could you even THINK that Kaname?' "That would form a blood bond, and I WILL NOT tie Shiki down like that!"

Kaname sighed, "It's not that I don't trust you, Ichijo. It's the others who are suspicious. Tell me what really happened so I can put their minds at ease?" his voice was soft.

Takuma ran his hand through his hair, giving in; gesturing for Kaname to enter the room, taking a deep breath as he closed to the door and began. "I went with Shiki to a fitting for a new clothing line. He looked... perfect... in their stuff, but they started saying really mean things and he got really upset and he yelled at me and he ran off to the bathroom and then..." he took a shaky breath, trying to slow down and stop himself from breaking down.

"Then what happened Takuma?" he put a hand on his friend's shoulder, reverting to concerned friend from formal pureblood at the sight of his childhood friend nearly breaking down.

"H-he... he was clawing himself... in the shower..." he sobbed as soon as it was out, trembling.

Kaname's eyebrows rose, "Why would he do that?"

Takuma took another shaky breath, 'Don't make me say it Kaname, please!'

The pureblood saw his friend's silent plea, "Was he trying to... end his own life?"

The blond whimpered and Kaname knew he had hit the mark.

"H-he thinks he's worthless because he hasn't gotten any jobs lately, but I SWEAR it's just because he's run into a string of blind or stupid designers..." he was sobbing again, "I was so scared, I thought I was going to lose him..."

Kaname smiled sadly, patting his friend on the back; he knew how close the blond was to his cousin. "You love him don't you Takuma?"

Takuma looked up for a moment before nodding, "I do... he means everything to me..."

"Does he know?"

Takuma shook his head, "I can't tell him... there's no way he'll love me back..."

The pureblood made an odd noise, "I... think I see the problem here..."

Green eyes looked up again.

"Shiki DOES love you Takuma... he thinks the same thing you do... that you could never love him... but he's a depressive type... he's probably been thinking about... suicide... for a while now, and this was the last straw... if those designers didn't think he was attractive... then he thinks you can't either... Even if you told him he IS attractive..."

Takuma's heart was racing, "H-he loves me? H-how do you know that?"

The pureblood chuckled, "Well to be honest it's just a theory based on observation, but I would definitely tell him..."

"B-but what if it... if he doesn't, and it ruins our friendship... I'd rather have him as a friend then have him hate me or feel awkward around me!"

Kaname put both hands on Takuma's shoulders, looking straight into his eyes, "Trust me, you NEED to tell him..."

Takuma stared at Kaname a moment before he nodded, "But how?"

Kaname shrugged lightly, "Introduce it slowly, start by giving a nice gesture... buy him something, nothing big though, you don't want him thinking you're trying to BUY his affection- and nothing directly related to love, like flowers or heart shaped chocolates... and nothing that would completely distract him like a book or anything like that... you want to be able to talk to him... just let him know your thinking of him without telling him... you're naturally charming so the rest should come naturally..."

"But I'm a mess when it comes to Senri..." he was blushing and looking nervous.

"You can do this Takuma... If you really love him, you'll know in your heart what to say to him; just don't let your mind overpower your heart..." he poked right where the blond's heart is, "And whatever you do, DON'T panic!"

Takuma nodded, looking suddenly but still shyly determined, "W-would Pocky be an okay gift?"

Kaname smiled, "Definitely..." he turned to leave, "Let me know if you need anything okay? Just don't... tell anyone I said that... not good for the pureblood rep..."

Takuma chuckled slightly, "Alright... Thanks Kaname..."

"Don't thank me until after you two are together!" he shut the door on his way out.

Seconds later Takuma dropped to his own bed, glancing over at Senri and thinking about what he could do for him besides getting him some Pocky. He drifted off to sleep thinking of the future; hopefully it would be THEIR future.


	2. Buffer

I'm planning to update this chapter by the 29th of each month, and I'm not sure how many chapters there will be- but it's NOT over! YAY!

* * *

Takuma awoke the next morning with a headache from all the tears he'd cried, but he wouldn't let it stop him. He was going to make his first step towards letting Shiki know now he felt today, and he had to go out to get him his pocky gift. He was a little worried about what Shiki might do when he woke up, so he visited Rima's room before heading out, asking her to watch over him.

He was now roaming the streets in town, walking into various shops to see if they carried what he was looking for. There were plenty of shops that sold pocky, but none so far that were selling what he wanted to get for Shiki. He sighed, thinking 'Maybe I'll just get him some regular, chocolate pocky?' he sighed again, it wouldn't do. He bought that for Shiki all the time; he wanted this to be special.

He walked for hours, looking for that one special gift to give his beloved, but was ready to give up after several more hours of failure to find what he wanted. But then he saw it, in the window of the shop down the street. He felt overjoyed and raced towards the shop, but seconds before he reached it the clerk turned his sign over. 'Closed, Come back tomorrow'. '_NOO!'_ he groaned, he needed to get this NOW, and he knocked on the door frantically.

Lucky for him, the cashier was a teenage girl, and she thought Takuma was gorgeous, opening the door. "Hey there handsome! Why that look on your pretty face?" she was batting her eyelashes at him. He didn't care.

"That!" he pointed to what he wanted. "You have NO idea how long I've been looking for it, this is the only shop I've seen ALL DAY with it!" he put on his best pout. "But you're closed!"

The girl looked like she could have melted, "Oh pfft... we only closed 2 seconds ago! I haven't even turned the till over! I'll let you come in to buy it... on ONE condition..."

Takuma was suddenly scared, "W-what would that be?"

Annd, she threw herself at him, pressing against him in a way any STRAIGHT guy would love. But he wasn't straight.

"Take me home with you?" she was trying to seduce him.

"I don't think so... I don't like girls..." he usually didn't flaunt his homosexuality, and preferred to act a gentleman, but this was one of those times where he HAD to.

"Oh sweetie, I don't mind... You can pretend I'm a guy..."

His eyes went wide "Nooo way!"

She huffed and stomped her foot, turning away. "Then you are NOT getting that," she motioned to what he wanted, "from me..."

He almost snapped in anger, "LOOK! My best friend tried to KILL himself last night, I am NOT in a good mood! Just give me the fucking pocky!"

She started a little, staring at him in fear when she felt his aura. "A-all right!" she scrambled to get it and ring it up.

He instantly calmed down, charming smile back on his face as he took the bag from her, "Thanks!" and trotted off back to the academy.

* * *

When Shiki woke up, he noticed Takuma wasn't over on his bed. He sighed, thinking Takuma was just annoyed with him after last night and had gone out for some air. _'I really shouldn't have done that... even if he doesn't LOVE me, I still know he cares... I must have really scared him...I need to get him something to apologise...'_

"Shiki?" he started when he noticed Rima was sitting in a chair by the window.

"What are you doing here?"

"Ichijo-san asked me to watch over you... Make sure you're okay... He was really worried about you..."

Shiki sighed, "I want to go buy him something... to apologise for scaring him..."

"I don't think you need to... Him seeing you're okay will be enough for him..."

"You make it sound like he's in LOVE with me Rima..." he chuckled a little bitterly.

Rima tilted her head a little, "He is..."

The redhead started again, "No... he isn't... he cares... but he doesn't love me..."

"But he does... A lot..."

"Rima!" he raised his voice a little in warning, "Don't okay? Don't get my hopes up..." his voice dropped along with his gaze at the last bit.

"You love him too, don't you Shiki?" her emotionless eyes actually softened a little.

He nodded slowly but surely.

And she actually smiled, "Tell him... He loves you Shiki... I know it..."

"How?"

She shrugged, "Woman's intuition?"

Shiki scoffed, "Like that has any REAL merit."

"Alright, then how about... best friend's intuition?"

He sighed, "Maybe... but I don't want to tell him and be shot down and let go completely... I'd die if he rejected me, and then walked away completely..."

"Ichijo-san wouldn't do that... even if I'm wrong about him being in love with you... he would never do that..."

Maybe she was right. But he was too scared, too unstable. "I'll tell him one day Rima... Just not now..."

She sighed, "Just don't wait TOO long Shiki... You might lose him for real..."

"DON'T!" he growled, not being able to even think of that, trying to hold back tears just at the thought. "I'll tell him soon Rima, just... don't push me..."

"Okay..." she sighed again. _'I really hope this works out; Shiki's been through so much. He deserves to be happy, and I know if anyone can make him feel truly happy; it's Ichijo...'_

It seemed like everyone knew how they felt for each other but them.

* * *

A/N- sorry if this chapter seems a little awkward, I needed a buffer between the last angst chapter and the start of Takuma's 'wooing' and I also needed to have Shiki maybe realising what's happening...


	3. The First Gift

Rima was about to leave to let Shiki get dressed when Takuma returned.

His face was a little red and he was rather winded, but there was a HUGE smile on his face. "I'm baaaacckk~!" he'd ran ALL the way here as fast as his vampire speed would allow. He now rested his hands on his thighs, catching his breath. "You wouldn't BELIEVE how many people are OUT at this time of night... I almost got seen TWICE even at vampire speed!" he shook his head, "Close calls..."

Rima smiled just a little, "Good thing you DIDN'T get caught... I don't think Kaname-sama would be too happy about having to go wipe memories tonight..." she waved as she left, shutting the door.

Takuma laughed a little, watching her leave before straightening up and turning to Shiki, "So Senri, how are you feeling?" he walked over and sat on the edge of the bed.

Shiki made a little 'Mm' noise, "Okay I guess... My head is pounding but other than that I'm alright..."

Takuma's eyes softened, "It's probably from the blood loss... You took a lot from me, but I doubt it was enough from what I saw in that shower..." he trailed off, looking down- he really HAD been terrified, so, so terrified that he was going to lose Shiki. His heart had almost stopped beating last night, and Takuma's own would have stopped right after, he knew- Shiki was everything to him; his whole world.

Shiki looked away, eyes downcast. "I'm sorry... I know I scared you..."

Takuma shook his head, "It's alright, what's done is done... No point in worrying about it anymore..." he smiled a little.

Shiki's soft blue eyes looked back at him sadly, "If I had died... would you miss me?" he didn't know why he was saying that aloud, but he needed to know.

'_No, because I would have followed you...'_ his heart hurt, "Of course I would Senri... Why wouldn't I?" he reached out to brush some red locks off Shiki's pale face.

"I-I don't know... because I'm annoying?"

"You are NOT annoying Senri!" he sighed, "I would miss you Senri... Really, REALLY miss you..." _'If I even managed to LIVE for a second after you died...'_

Shiki smiled a little, "Thank you..."

Takuma's face lit up then, "Ah! Don't thank me yet!" he rummaged around in the bag he'd brought in with him, "I was shopping around and I came across this, and I thought it might cheer you up!" he handed him the brightly colored package.

Those blue eyes went wide as dinner plates, "Is that... the limited edition Funtom Company Gold Series Chocolate Pocky?"

Takuma nodded, "Mmmhmm~!"

"I thought it was sold out all over the city! There is NO way you just... came across it..."

He winced a little, "Ahh, okay, I kinda lied... I LOOKED specifically for it ALL day..." he cringed even more, "If you see a weird girls name on my phone's caller ID... I had to give the cashier my number in order to get it 'cause the store was technically closed..."

Shiki gave him a look and said, "She fell for the Ichijo charm, but it backfired a little?"

"Yeah..." he squirmed a little, and Shiki couldn't help think it was cute.

Shiki took the pocky from him, moving a little closer, laying a gentle and sweet kiss on the blond's cheek, "Well, thanks... You didn't have to do that for me..." he was blushing a sweet cherry red.

Takuma couldn't help but shiver a little at the feel of his secret crush's soft, petal lips against his cheek. "I know, but I wanted to get you something to make you feel better, and that was the first thing I thought of..."

The redhead smiled a little, tilting his head in that so cute but unknowingly seductive way. "Well, I DO feel better... but not because of the pocky..."

Takuma blushed at that look Shiki had, "T-then why do you feel better?"

"Because you were thinking of me... It reminds me that not everyone out there hates me..." _'More importantly, it shows me that maybe my hopes and dreams of one day being the one you hold most dear; aren't completely ridiculous.' _Shiki's eyes were soft and a little sad, but mostly happy.

It almost drew a confession of love right out of the blond, who had to bite his lip to stop it. "I don't know how anyone could hate you..."

"Unfortunately not everyone is as sweet as you are... Some people are mercilessly cruel and seem to have no heart at all..." he sighed, opening one box of the pocky, pulling a stick out of the package. "You want the first one? You bought it after all..."

Takuma nodded, taking the pocky stick. "Thanks," he took the stick in his teeth and broke off a bit, savouring it for a moment before he smiled brightly, "Mm! It's REALLY good!"

Shiki smiled back, also taking a bit of a stick in his mouth. "Mmm, yeah it is!"

Takuma's smile widened, tilting his head a little and moving to sit cross legged on the bed, finishing off his stick. "Can I have another one? I mean... I bought it for you but... it's really good!" a light pink blush dusted his cheeks.

The redhead nodded, offering the box to him, "Of course..."

The blond smiled more, taking another one. The two spent the better part of an hour sitting there and eating the pocky and talking about what had been going on in the night class and the school in general. It was a comfortable conversation, plenty of little giggles injected at the right moments; the more gossipy ones.

"Did you hear what Ruka said about Kiryu and Kaname?" Shiki lowered his voice a little so no one outside could hear him on this one.

Takuma's eyebrows furrowed, "No, I didn't... What happened? Another fight?"

"Nooo, not a fight..." Shiki was smirking. "Something more... friendly..."

"Kiryu-kun and Kaname... friendly?" he was curious now, "Tell me more!"

"Ruka caught them making out in one of the spare classrooms..."

"Making OUT! As in... KISSING?" he couldn't believe his childhood friend their esteemed leader would make out with the school prefect and vampire hunter/hater... or more, couldn't believe the hunter would make out with the pureblood. "Seriously?"

Shiki nodded, "Yup, Kiryu's tongue down Kaname's throat and all... Yes, Kaname was the submissive..."

Takuma turned red at talking kissing with the one HE wanted to kiss, "Oh... wow... that's... wow..."

"Are you jealous?" Shiki's sudden question started the blond.

"W-what? Why would I be jealous?"

Shiki shrugged, "I don't know... I thought maybe you liked Kaname or something..."

"Nooo!" Takuma shook his head so fast he made himself dizzy, "Not like that anyways!" _'I love you and only you Shiki...'_

Shiki smiled a little, _'Well that's good... because I could NEVER compete with him over your heart... When someone falls for a pureblood, they fall forever...'_ "Alright, alright... I get it..."

Takuma let out a breath he didn't know he was holding. "We should probably get to class... You coming?"

The redhead nodded, "Yeah... I think staying here alone would just put me in a mood again..."

The blond nodded, "Okay, lets go!"


	4. Complications

That day's classes went by rather uneventfully until about ¾ of the way through, which was when Aidou approached the redhead and fellow blond.

"I smelt both of your blood last night..." he commented as if it was a casual thing to say.

Shiki eyed him wearily, "What of it?"

Aidou looked the two of them over, "Did you guys... bond?"

"No!" Takuma said a little TOO quickly, _'I would NEVER tie Senri down like that, not when he's so young and has so much to live for... as much as I would LOVE to be bound to him for eternity, it's not what HE wants...'_

Of course, Shiki couldn't HEAR Takuma's inner dialogue and was hurt a little by his quickness to deny that sort of connection with him, "We didn't..." he tried to keep the hurt out of his voice. _'But if we had, I would be the happiest person alive, and that's saying a lot... I WANT to be his... Forever... but he would never want that...'_

Aidou didn't look like he particularly believed them, but continued on. "So then what happened?"

Shiki looked to Takuma for a second, and then decided to tell the truth, as it was the best way to get Aidou to bugger off. "I had a bad time at my modelling audition last night... I was really upset, felt completely worthless, so I tried to kill myself..." he shrugged as if it was nothing, "Takuma saved me be giving me his blood..."

Aidou turned to Takuma, "That much of his blood in the air, and you didn't take any? Even if you two WEREN'T close... Shiki has the blood of the Kuran's in him... I can't believe even YOU could have resisted that temptation..." his gaze was accusing.

Takuma couldn't help but glare at the other blond, "I didn't take any... I would never take even so much as a drop without Senri's permission..."

"Because you don't want it..." Shiki turned to leave, taking off.

Takuma turned to watch him, heart stopping at the bitterness he heard in Shiki's voice, "No! That's not it Senri!" _'Oh GOD that's not it! You have NO IDEA how much I want it... Want you... NEED you...' _he growled, turning back to Aidou, "You really know how to mess things up don't you? You ALWAYS do it!" and ran after Shiki, hoping to god he wouldn't try anything.

Shiki felt like he was being ripped apart, Aidou's words running through his head. Why HADN'T Takuma taken his blood? So long as he didn't bite him directly, there would be no bond created. _'Is it really that disgusting to him?'_

"Senri!" Takuma was searching everywhere for him, "Dammit! Where the hell did you go?" he was panicking. He was terrified Shiki would try to hurt himself again. "Senri!"

He was in such a panic he ran right by Rima without even seeing her, she grabbed his arm. "Ichijo-san? What's wrong?"

He was in tears now, "Aidou... h-he a-asked about w-what happened and S-senri took some t-things the w-wrong way and h-he ran! I don't know where he is!" he was trembling.

Rima's eyes were wide, some fear in them, "We have to find him!"

"I'm scared... w-what if he t-tries to h-hurt himself a-again and I'm n-not there to s-save him?"

"We'll FIND him Ichijo! Just calm down! I'll keep looking here; you head over to the day class area!"

He nodded, wiping away his tears; he HAD to find Shiki. He wasn't about to lose him NOW.

Rima searched high and low in the moon dorms, glaring at Aidou when he passed by.

Finally, after an hour or so, she found the redhead. He was in the kitchen. At first she thought he was using a kitchen knife to cut himself, but he was merely sitting on the floor, hidden by the fridge; eyes dead.

"Shiki! There you are!" she kneeled in front of him. "Are you okay?"

He nodded, even though he wasn't really.

She slapped him for it. "You IDIOT! Taking off like that on Ichijo-san! He's worried SICK about you! He was crying! He's terrified that you're going to hurt yourself again, terrified that he's going to LOSE you!"

"He doesn't care about me... I'm disgusting to him..."

She slapped him again, this time he recoiled, "He LOVES you! More than his own LIFE! He's searching high and low for you!"

"H-he said he wouldn't take my blood..." he was confused again, heart trying against his mind to rekindle his hope.

"Because he doesn't want to tie you down! He loves you... so much that he'd be willing to let you go if it was going to make you truly happy... He doesn't want to FORCE you to be with him!"

"He didn't have to BITE me to take it... I would have let him just lick my wounds!"

"And you think that would be enough? You know how it is when a vampire loves another... you've heard the stories... if he had taken your blood, even indirectly; he would want more, and more. He could have LOST it and actually bitten you... and then, when he came around- he'd NEVER forgive himself for it..."

He was shaking, "Y-you really think that's it?"

"I KNOW it... I'm surprised YOU don't... it's written all over his face, the way he looks at you, cares for you... You're everything to him... I'm sure of it..."

Shiki started to cry, "I-if that's true... I-I would be so h-happy... I love him Rima... I love him so much... there IS no one else for me... he'd never HAVE to let me go..."

She sighed, "Go tell him... he's out by the Sun dorms..."

Shiki got up, nodding "Thank you Rima..." and he took off again, _'I hope she's right... I'm going to tell him, so GOD I hope she's right... If he doesn't want me, he doesn't want me... I know I'll die from the rejection, so what have I REALLY got to lose?'_


	5. The Start of Something

I actually think this is the last chapter guys! I will of course have a sequel starting right up again, I just think after this chapter, nothing more will fit under the name of 'The Start of Something'... I'm thinking of calling the sequel 'Learning to Love'...

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Takuma had searched everywhere he thought Shiki might be, he'd avoided being caught by the two prefects, but he still hadn't found Shiki. He was now sitting against a tree somewhere between the moon and sun dorms; head buried in his knees, he was sobbing and trembling like a leaf. He was scared, very, very scared. _'What if it's too late? What if he's already dead?' _he let out a heart breaking whimper, "N-no... It can't be!" he sobbed hard, voice low and whimpery, "I n-need him... I love him..." he gripped his head in his hands. _'Why is this so HARD? All I want to do is make him happy!'_

Shiki was carefully trying to avoid being seen by anyone while he tried to look for Takuma; he searched for over an hour. He'd been about to give up when he heard heartbroken sobbing coming from the forest; normally even a vampire might not pick up on the noise, but Shiki had tuned himself to Takuma so acutely over the years that he immediately heard it in the dark silence; and knew who it was. His heart throbbed and tears sprung to his eyes, '_All I do is hurt him... I want to stop... I want to make him happy, not sad like this...'_ as he was thinking that as he slowly made his way to where Takuma was.

What Shiki saw leaning against that tree ripped him apart inside, Takuma was curled up on himself, rocking back and forth, alternating between gripping his hands into his pant-legs and his now messy hair; he had tears streaking down his handsome face and that face was contorted in a look of pure fear and longing.

"Takuma..." the name left his lips in breathy, shaky whisper; standing just a few feet from him now.

Takuma's head instantly shot up, meeting Shiki's baby blue eyes with his own deep, currently dull olive eyes. "S-senri?" he sounded like he couldn't believe Shiki was standing there.

Shiki smiled just a little, nodding. "Yeah..." but before he could get any more out, the air was being squeezed out of him by Takuma's strong arms wrapping around him and holding him tightly.

The blond clutched onto him desperately, crushing him to his chest; hand burrowed in Shiki's blood red locks, cheek pressed to his temple. He was still trembling with such intensity it was a miracle he could stand on his own two legs. "Oh my g-god... S-senri... I-I was so scared!" he sobbed, pulling back to look him over almost obsessively, "Are you okay? You didn't hurt yourself d-did you?" he let his gaze slide all over Shiki's form, checking for ANYTHING. "Please tell me you're okay..." that last line was spoken in a hushed, tear-thick voice.

"I'm fine Takuma... Physically anyways..." Shiki could only whisper, Takuma's trembling and tears that were still flowing down that gorgeous face were breaking his heart.

Takuma sobbed again, pulling Shiki back against his chest, holding him like he was the only thing in the world that mattered to him. "P-please stop s-scaring me like t-this Senri... I don't k-know how much more my h-heart can t-take..."

The red head frowned a little, "What do you mean?" he rubbed the blonde's back gently and subconsciously.

Takuma clutched him tighter, _'It's now or never, I HAVE to tell him how I feel... if he rejects me... I'll die anyways, so what do I have to lose really?'_ he looked down into those eyes he loved so much, whispering out quietly, but surely. "I can't lose you Senri... You mean everything to me... I love you..."

Shiki didn't believe his ears at first, so he just kept staring at him before speaking several seconds later, voice husky because his heart was leaping, but his mind was telling him he'd heard wrong. "W-what?"

The blond tried to stay strong, and not take his silence and question as a rejection, "I love you... You're my life..."

His heart was throbbing happily, but he still had questions, "Then why did you say you didn't want my blood?"

Takuma looked down, "I never said I DIDN'T want it... I just don't want to take it and have you bound to me, when you don't want it..."

"But I DO want it!" Shiki was completely overcome with emotion right now, "I want SOO bad to be yours..."

Takuma's breath hitched, "Why?"

Shiki looked up at him, eyes still a little guarded, but there was pure truth in them, "Because I love you too... I-I never thought you'd... you'd love me back..."

Those emerald eyes filled with tears again, "Why would you think that Senri?" he cupped his cheek gently.

"I don't deserve someone like you..."

"Someone like me?"

Shiki took a trembling breath, "Someone so... kind, sweet, gentle... beautiful, sexy, gorgeous... someone as selfless as you... Someone as loving... I just... I don't deserve you..."

Takuma frowned, "Senri... everyone deserves to have someone who loves them... You more than anyone... You've been through so much..." he broke off to catch a sob and take a breath, "If anything, you deserve even BETTER than me..."

The red head was just flat out confused at that, "I... don't think better exists... and even if it did... I wouldn't want it..."

"Why not?"

"Because I want YOU..." he shook his head, trying not to cry, "I only want you... I-if I can't have you... I don't even want to LIVE anymore... that's why I tried to kill myself last night... it wasn't because of the fact that those guys said what they did... it was because I thought you thought that too... even if you said you didn't... I thought that if I really AM that hideous... that you'd never want me..."

"Don't you trust me Senri?" he was crying again, "When I say I think you're beautiful, I'm not lying... don't you trust me to tell you the truth?"

"It's not YOU I distrust... It's myself!"

That's when it struck Takuma, _'He doesn't just think he doesn't deserve ME, he thinks he doesn't deserve to be loved at ALL...'_ "Senri... If you want this to work, you've got to learn to love YOURSELF too... It doesn't matter how much you love ME, if you keep doubting yourself... you'll only end up hurting us both..."

Shiki's heart sank, _'He says he loves me, and I believe him... but... he's not going to be with me... I'm still being rejected because I can't... trust myself? B-but... I...'_ he started to tremble, falling to his knees, "P-please... Please... I'll TRY! I swear to god I'll TRY but PLEASE! Please don't leave me alone... I c-can't stand b-being alone..."

Takuma realised he'd worded his last statement a little too harshly, as if he were going to deny Shiki the love he NEEDED, "No no no..." he dropped to his knees in front of Shiki, "Sweetie, sweet heart..." he cupped his cheek again, stroking it, trying to soothe him, "That's not what I meant... I'm not going to leave you to do this on your own, I'll HELP you learn to love yourself; you just have to understand that it might not be all roses until you DO... I love you Shiki... and I'll be damned if I don't TRY to make us work... Like I said, you mean EVERYTHING to me, you're my life... No matter how much you hate yourself... I just hate seeing you beat yourself up..."

The red head felt weak with relief, collapsing against the blond, arms winding weakly around his neck. "Thank you...I promise I'll try... I promise... I love you... I love you so much..." he had the thought at that moment, '_I don't deserve the chance he's giving me, but there is NO way in hell I'm not going to take this... If I don't deserve it NOW, I will BECOME someone who deserves it, and not through those stupid acts either. Because I don't NEED an act... he loves me for me...'_

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So what do you think? Good place to end it right? Expect the first chapter of 'Learning to Love' by the 28th of February... _  
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	6. Authors Note Again

I'm sorry to everyone waiting for the sequel 'Learning to Love', know I promised like... June... for the start of it... but I'm just not writing very well lately... everything I type is crap in the toilet... I'm really trying, REALLY trying to get it done for July 28th, but I really want to start the new story on a good note, and not the suckish way I've been writing lately...


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